If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just google imaged poop.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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