I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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