Someone shit on the floor
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
