they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
