The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
