Sry I called you an 8
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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