Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
