i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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