I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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