Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize