Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
