5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.