That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.