dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??