Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
