I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
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If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair