Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
