Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just made my gag reflex go away.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize