Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

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  (703): She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper http://tfl.nu/dnfr
  Replies (30) Good night (5661) Bad night (649)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

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  (330): I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry. (1-330): Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now. http://tfl.nu/tk0f
  Replies (28) Good night (849) Bad night (4276)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.

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  (801): Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks. http://tfl.nu/8eyu
  Replies (46) Good night (19762) Bad night (1831)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes

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  (860): there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes http://tfl.nu/0fsj
  Replies (24) Good night (5097) Bad night (2638)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.

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  (303): Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with. http://tfl.nu/dbx0
  Replies (18) Good night (4967) Bad night (1956)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.

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  (319): Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now. http://tfl.nu/g0lg
  Replies (5) Good night (3749) Bad night (1168)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing

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  (216): Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing http://tfl.nu/jpc8
  Replies (4) Good night (2015) Bad night (970)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.

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  (617): All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you. http://tfl.nu/zb33
  Replies (3) Good night (867) Bad night (1996)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys

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  (516): Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys http://tfl.nu/syhe
  Replies (5) Good night (1272) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.

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  (779): He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud. http://tfl.nu/emwq
  Replies (3) Good night (1048) Bad night (401)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.

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  (937): Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character. http://tfl.nu/p33a
  Replies (3) Good night (1046) Bad night (377)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small

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  (512): He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small http://tfl.nu/qooh
  Replies (4) Good night (997) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?

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  (320): So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing? http://tfl.nu/5f4v
  Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.

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  (847): So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real (847): Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone. http://tfl.nu/mou5
  Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.

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  (716): I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me. http://tfl.nu/jxfi
  Replies (5) Good night (789) Bad night (377)

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