Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

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(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything. http://tfl.nu/pmpx

Replies (76) Good night (27935) Bad night (1827)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after

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(508): Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after http://tfl.nu/akdp

Replies (50) Good night (4674) Bad night (765)
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(407): View more from Florida

I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.

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(407): I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk. http://tfl.nu/exk9

Replies (25) Good night (6597) Bad night (1006)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.

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(703): Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience. http://tfl.nu/jxin

Replies (73) Good night (4377) Bad night (6453)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.

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(402): Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then. http://tfl.nu/941i

Replies (24) Good night (5054) Bad night (1131)
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(714): View more from California

Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.

(562): View more from California

You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.

(714): View more from California

Well someones bitter they didn't get any.

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(714): Hahaha you puked all over his shirt. (562): You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch. (714): Well someones bitter they didn't get any. http://tfl.nu/4mgl

Replies (20) Good night (5238) Bad night (1400)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...

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(484): someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again... http://tfl.nu/xp70

Replies (3) Good night (2189) Bad night (894)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.

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(201): You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked. http://tfl.nu/py4z

Replies (7) Good night (3912) Bad night (1057)
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(818): View more from California

Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment

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(818): Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment http://tfl.nu/eaeq

Replies (8) Good night (3369) Bad night (1146)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.

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(505): I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster. http://tfl.nu/elih

Replies (1) Good night (2151) Bad night (700)
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(408): View more from California

I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year

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(408): I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year http://tfl.nu/dryh

Replies (3) Good night (1727) Bad night (628)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.

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(860): Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ht1g

Replies (4) Good night (1191) Bad night (846)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...

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(417): I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him... http://tfl.nu/ae62

Replies (2) Good night (259) Bad night (722)
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(720): View more from Colorado

WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!

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(720): WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!! http://tfl.nu/4pv4

Replies (5) Good night (289) Bad night (541)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Stop watching porn on my work computer.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.

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(314): Stop watching porn on my work computer. (1-314): STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER. http://tfl.nu/jsny

Replies (3) Good night (1628) Bad night (288)

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