Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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