Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(713): View more from Texas

i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(713): i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better http://tfl.nu/apc9

Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (2336)
Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes http://tfl.nu/9abn

Replies (11) Good night (3791) Bad night (816)
Favorite
(713): View more from Texas

Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids

(979): View more from Texas

Ahaha, good shit

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(713): Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids (979): Ahaha, good shit http://tfl.nu/p3kk

Replies (14) Good night (3557) Bad night (1565)
Favorite
(916): View more from California

this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(916): this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her. http://tfl.nu/xmhd

Replies (26) Good night (5005) Bad night (843)
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings. http://tfl.nu/8q1l

Replies (9) Good night (4379) Bad night (904)
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape. http://tfl.nu/5pgg

Replies (5) Good night (2396) Bad night (931)
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit. http://tfl.nu/gou5

Replies (11) Good night (3814) Bad night (766)
Favorite
(517): View more from Michigan

Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(517): Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school.... http://tfl.nu/i9vj

Replies (15) Good night (5662) Bad night (1032)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you http://tfl.nu/d6cu

Replies (8) Good night (1200) Bad night (3048)
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife

(440): View more from Ohio

My tits sealed my fate

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife (440): My tits sealed my fate http://tfl.nu/iglv

Replies (9) Good night (909) Bad night (918)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise. http://tfl.nu/frpb

Replies (3) Good night (1242) Bad night (462)
Favorite
(865): View more from Tennessee

Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(865): Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts. http://tfl.nu/is6y

Replies (7) Good night (1615) Bad night (846)
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober. http://tfl.nu/htfr

Replies (1) Good night (798) Bad night (385)
Favorite
(240): View more from Maryland

He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(240): He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur. http://tfl.nu/z4pa

Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (393)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious. http://tfl.nu/rvem

Replies (0) Good night (635) Bad night (359)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard