Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
