i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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