omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Randomize
