Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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