We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
