doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
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How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
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exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
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