Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
