I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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