hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
