New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
