heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
