i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize