Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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