he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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