There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
