her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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