marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
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I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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