i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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