Swine flu. Run for my life!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
please come you make the beer taste better
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
