I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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