She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
