her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
