So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
