The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You're like the curious george of whores
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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