I want to have your abortion
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
