It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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