im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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