So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
