that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
