So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
