i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
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When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
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I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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