me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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