Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
