Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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