Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
