Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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