Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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