just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
