he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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