I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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