woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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