Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
